A true tale

The following conversation took place when Jane, not her real name, but a real Wychwood resident, answered the phone recently:
“Hello.”
“It’s M&S here. Good morning Mrs Anderson, we’re ringing about your Hoover.”
Jane looked puzzled. It wasn’t a shop she used often.
“We believe your Dyson is ready for a service?”
“I’ve not got a Dyson.”
“You bought it on 18th April 2016 so its service is due.”
“I’ve not got a Dyson.”
“Yes, our records show your purchase last year.”
“ I’ve not bought a Dyson and I’ve not bought a Hoover from you.”
Her patience was wearing thin.
“Yes, but our records…”
“Wait,” replied Jane, “I’ll go and make certain.”
Lowering the phone, she checked the under-stair cupboard.
“No, it’s an AEG and we bought it online.”
“But our records…”
Jane had had enough. In total frustration, her raised voice delivered the killer blow:
“I’ve told you, I’ve not bought a Hoover at M&S, it’s not a Dyson and it’s not mine; it’s my husband’s.”

That’s true.

August – September 2017